Movies are getting their Promos on with Snow White and the Huntsman being represented over at Girlfriend and In Style, and Emma Stone dominating for Spiderman (you should have seen her American Vogue spread!). I will admit, this isn’t my best wrap-up as I get back into the swing of it, but all the info is there! I am proud to say the Kardashian’s aren’t getting all that much ink this week!
Check out Jezebels Tabloid round-up here!
A – Magazine cover has no mention of Beauty, weight, or appearance.
It’s a little boring for me when so many magazines are flawless. This week the following magazines won all the awards for being incredible:
Australian Woman’s Weekly, featuring TV Personality Chrissie Swan.
Harper‘s Bazaar featuring the luminescent Nicole Kidman on what may be one of the covers of the year.
Woman’s Day is flawless despite the pregnancy rumour for Princess Mary of Denmark
Dolly magazine is surprisingly flawless with Spiderman’s Emma Stone on its cover!
TV Week is flawless as it sticks to what it does best.
Girlfriend joins its teen competitor in the A category, and features Kristen Stewart in time for Snow White and the Huntsman AND Breaking Dawn 2.
Vogue features an unrecognisable Delta Goodrem on its flawless cover.
Famous earns an A despite its bump watch.
And finally, Marie Claire‘s cover features actress Rachael Taylor, which calls for Support Marriage Equality. Marie Claire have been committing themselves to a lot of fantastic community work and initiatives this year, and it is heartening to see fashion publications try to use their influence to effect positive change.
B – Magazine cover makes mention of Beauty Routines, and Fashion articles for maximising ones appearance – No shaming or promises of results.
Leighton Meester of Gossip Girl graces the cover of this month’s Cosmo which surprisingly isn’t completely insulting – though still incredibly hetero-normative and at least half the cover is devoted to crap about guys *cue eye roll*. Cosmopolitan features a special Bonus Body Love Mini Mag this month boasting 20+ pages of winter motivation – I am assuming that means motivation to work out… unsurprisingly, the tagline underneath that is Single? 5 Quizzes to take before your next date – which of course you will look awesome on because of all that winter motivation!
Shop til you drop promises us Better Hair by tomorrowon its cover, and helps us Get amaaazing lashes Damage-free! Lea Michele of Glee is on the cover.
Madison has Aussie Actress Asher Keddie on its wintery cover, and offers us Make-up on the Move: get that healthy glow… fast. Just in time for winter when we all start to look pale. It also offers an article on The Sex Scandals Rocking Our Military which could prove an interesting read.
C – Magazine cover prominently mentions Diet/ Health with no hard promises or time frames, Features weight loss stories, Features stories about Beauty Routines which promise results, Features stories on Slimming/ Sexy clothing, Focus on obtaining a particular type of desirable body. Magazine cover focuses on dressing for the male gaze.
Cleo also features the delightful Emma Stone on its cover, and along with promising us that there really ARE Hot Single Guys who want to date YOU! and that we can have better sex in 5 seconds, (Yes!yes!yes!), they have Found! The fitness trick your gym won’t tell you. AWESOME!!!! My life is now infinitely better. Thanks Cleo! But, Cleo, haven’t stopped there – those heavenly angels –they have also given us 7 steps to happy skin. All the things we need to really ensure those Hot single guys really ARE trying to date us!
Australian Woman’s Health promises to help us Burn Fat Faster Than Ever: The New Exercise Plan for your 20s 30s & 40s. At least they don’t have a time frame this issue…
In Style features Snow White and the Huntsman star Charlize Theron on its cover with the tagline Revealed! Anti-Ageing trends that really work. Classy.
New Idea. Baby Bump rumours for Kate Middleton… I actually don’t know what to call her. Is she the Duchess of Windsor or something? Princess Kate? Baby Bump Watch is really just a nice way for the tabloids to put pressure on women to have kids, and remind celebs that they looked bloated on the day in question. A Public Service, that is. New Idea also features a story on ex- Excess Baggage star Christina Anu, who has gone from a size 18 to size 8! Great cover… really. I see what you did there, New Idea.
D – Magazine cover actively promotes diets which promise fast results. Actively promotes Exercise for specific results. Actively assumes worth is determined by Male Gaze. Actively promotes youth for an audience over the age of 21. Actively promotes drastic beauty routines. Slight shaming tendencies.
NW – and the post pregnancy bashing has started on Jessica Simpson with Jess’s body panic ‘I need Surgery‘, because that’s what ALL new mums want to hear, isn’t it??? Oh! Shit! I can’t lose my post-baby weight in the 2 weeks that society tells me I need to lose it! Quick! I better focus on getting plastic surgery EVEN THOUGH I JUST PUSHED A LIVING BEING OUT OF MY BODY!!! *headdesk*. AND, because NW is a classy tabloid publication, they also promise us the Worst Ever Fake Tan Disasters.
E – Magazine cover actively shames celebrity/ media personalities’ appearance. Actively promotes unhealthy diets/ unhealthy weight loss/celebrity diet tips. Actively engages in fat/ thin/ age shaming. Shaming dominates the page.
Grazia – what would a magazine wrap-up be without a little tabloid bashing of Ms. Angelina Jolie, and Grazia is always happy to do some skinny bashing, especially with crowd favourites. In the new favourite way to skinny shame, Grazia runs Ange Vows. The Diet Ends Here! How to put on weight… in all the right places. Because, being skinny is a sin. But so is being fat. And, being average. Face it, you can’t win…
There hadn’t really been a decent shaming cover this week, so Who stepped up to the plate with their cover which is almost entirely devoted to Skin & Bones: New Fears as already thin stars shrink to extremes. Didn’t we do this tagline already this year? Why is it always new fears? I swear they just change the photos every month or so and run exactly the same cover. And what does it achieve really? This month’s lucky contenders are Sarah Jessica Parker Worrying New Pics. Model Karlie Kloss Catwalk Shock. Alexa Chung who allegedly declares ‘I’m not trying to be thin‘. Can we just STOP with the Alexa Chung already??? I am so sick of people skinny bashing her – It has almost become an Olympic sport (oh yeah, I went there), and is actually upsetting her. And, Now… Emma Stone, Suddenly Skinny. Congratulations on making it Emma! I am sure that camera angle is really helping the tabloids to push their silly little story. The website shows just how concerned Who is for our female celebrities – and it is almost always female celebrities isn’t it (can’t have us policing the guys now, can we???) with this little blurb.
SKIN AND BONES: THE STARS STARVING TO BE SLIM
WHO reveals the latest group of Hollywood shape-shifters who appear to be going too far in their quest for the perfect showbiz body. Find out which rock and roll star believes her most effective diet is fish fingers and lemon water, which actress and mum of three feels she has to “work out all the time” and the famous fashionistas who are worryingly being heralded as “thinspiration” pin-ups on proanorexia websites.
Don’t worry though, check out what story is directly underneath!
And here is Emma Stone in that Black Gucci Dress, looking lovely!
Best Cover – Marie Claire.
Worst Cover – Who.
Honourable Mention – Harper’s Bazaar
What do you think? Did I get it Right? Did I Get it Wrong??